So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize