Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
