dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
