I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize