Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
