Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
