i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I party with great urgency now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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