paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
they need to just BURY HIM!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
That accounts for only three of the penises
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
