Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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