This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
