I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
