im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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