omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
