This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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