Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
