How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
