If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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