Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
