Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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