You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
