How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
