moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
