Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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