Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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