he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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