I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
