She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
