your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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