if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
