okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
