Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
