so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
