Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
