Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
