HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
