I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
