Already got asked if we're dating
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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