My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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