You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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