We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
