So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
