My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
