It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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