i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
