it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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