apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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