pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
