Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
