Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
