Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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