i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I smell like Dick and happiness
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
