My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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