so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
