you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He better not be in your backpack
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
