Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
