got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
