We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
