So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
