sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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