then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
