I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
